A journey called ‘marriage’

A JOURNEY CALLED 'MARRIAGE'

By Shilpi Shukla Alexander

Before venturing into a journey of a thousand miles, try taking a few steps together…

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step (- Lao Tzu). We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend. This is much beyond being just a saying or a philosophy. The true essence of this aphorism is best understood by couples who have traveled together and acknowledged how further they could travel in each other’s company.

This is how the life-journey of Ritika Verma and Rohit Kaushik kick started. Rohit and Ritika decided to go on a 10-day trip from Bharatpur to Kanha via Ranthambore, Shivpuri, Khajuraho and Bandhavgarh. What had started as a study tour for these research sudents of wildlife conservation, eventually transformed into a beautiful journey of love and fondness.

“These 10 days gave us time to know and understand each other. By the end of the trip, I knew that he was the man for me,” recalls Ritika. For Rohit, it was a dream come true. “Oh! In my dreams, I often found myself walking hand in hand with my beau in a dense forest,” says Rohit, “I fell for Ritika’s compassionate and thoughtful nature. She made my dream come true.”    

So, for all those for whom travelling till now has just meant sight-seeing, this is a new perspective. Spending quiet and serene time with your beloved really goes a long way in deciding whether he/she’s the right choice for you. For not all marriages are made in heaven. Consider this…

Software professional Sandhya Sinha and businessman Karan Karnik had been seeing each other for over five years now. It was time that they got married. While their families were fixing the marriage date, the exultant couple decided to flee to a romantic destination. These seven days changed their very opinion about their five-year-long courtship. On being approached, Sandhya’s mother finally revealed, “Though, I don’t know much details, it was their opposite habits and lifestyles that made them apprehensive about their relationship.” Giving one example, she says, “Sandhya is very particular about cleanliness. Karan’s unhygienic and grimy habits annoyed her. Karan in turn was really incensed by her nagging behaviour.”

Spending a few days or weeks alone with your chum helps you know him/her better. Besides, your own aspirations become comprehensible to you in that state of solitude and quiet.

Travel writer Priti Saraswat explains, “Breaking away from your daily monotonous routine and staying away from all your friends and foes, gives you ample time for knowing your true self. It is easier to find answers to most of your unanswered questions during those moments of peace and serenity.” She adds, “When a duo sits with that unruffled mind, it really helps in pondering over every minor and major issue related to their relationship with a lucid and broader perspective.”

In the words of Miriam Beard — Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.  

Even professional trips go a long way in making one understand his colleagues better. Actress Amrita Arora says, “There were actors whom I didn’t like earlier. But during my outdoor shootings with them, I got to know their actual selves. Today, many of them are my close friends and well wishers.”

Grapevine has it that Kajol and Ajay Devgan started dating each other when they spent quality time with each other during their outdoor shoots for Pyar To Hona Hi Tha, Ishq and Hulchul.

Should we sum it up as saying that if you can enjoy a short travel trip with your pal, you can surely enjoy the long life-trip with him or her? Perhaps yes. At least this is what the experience of advertising personnel Vinit Gangwar attests. “Me and my ex-girlfriend had gone to Digha (a popular sea resort in West Bengal) to enjoy the sea and each other’s companionship. It was during our outing that we understood how absolutely different we were. She was scared of bathing in the sea; even sun bathing. She did not even enjoy barbeque; leave alone enjoying water sports! After our humdrum trip to Ladakh next time, I knew that she was too dull and mind-numbing for an adventurous and exploratory person like me.”

Even going on a tour with a group of friends can be bliss in disguise at times. People often find a virtuous reason to their lives during these tours. Theatre artist Pratigya Suri planned a trip to Puri with her friends. After coming to Orissa, she learnt about the tribal communities of the state. Even after much insistence, none of her friends agreed to visit these tribal areas, but Rishi. After their month long trip to the adivasi areas of Chatikona Kondh, Taptapani, Rayagada and Jeypore, Pratigya and Rishi knew two things. First, that these tribal people needed their assistance for development and growth. Second… that they had found their soul-mates in each other. For the last five years Rishi and Pratigya (Now Mrs Rishi Gupta) are working for the upheaval of tribal clans. They conduct theatre shows to promote education and awareness among these deprived and unprivileged communities.

Possibly now we understand what the words of Martin Buber meant when he said — “All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.”

Marriage is not so trivial a decision to be taken in alacrity. Spend quiet, beautiful and illuminating moments with your would-be; away from the clatter and clamour of your customary life, so as to be able to hear what your heart actually says, to understand what your life wants.